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FetLife: review of the BDSM social network
fetlife.com
Review checked on
- Free
- Community
- Photos
Shared interests turn into conversations and meetups on FetLife. The social network covers BDSM, consensual bondage, dominance, submission and pain play, with around 2.6 million active members a month. You can join for free, read a discussion that speaks to you and find an event where you can meet people.
FetLife
fetlife.com
| Type | Social network for BDSM, fetish and kink, with no library of produced videos |
|---|---|
| Free or paid | Free, member videos reserved for paid support, amount shown once logged in, never renewed automatically |
| Refunds | Within 7 days, in full, one per person, never for gift card trade-in, POLi, cryptocurrency or Paysafecard |
| Currency | Payment currency varies by method and account location |
| Size | 13,109,713 profiles created and 110,415,251 pictures and videos on the home page counter |
| Activity | About 2.6 million active members in September 2026 (34,498 members actioned, 1.32% of that month's actives), 1.4 million in July 2021 |
| Community | 206,911 groups, 7,056,555 writings, 913,530 fetishes and 27,449 upcoming events |
| Moderation | September 2026: 198,041 unique reports, 97.2% handled within thirty minutes, report updated on 6 October 2026 |
| Takedown | A picture or video of yourself removed on request, with no copyright claim, 1,960 non-consensual images removed in September 2026 |
| Search engines | Profiles, groups and writings excluded in robots.txt |
| Languages | Interface in 17 languages, translated by volunteers |
| Company | BitLove Inc. and BitLove Ltd. (HE320714) |
The FetLife community
Members supply FetLife's pictures, videos and writing. You follow people whose stories interest you, groups about a practice and events near you. BitLove Inc. and BitLove Ltd. run the network.
The 13 million profiles created since launch include abandoned accounts. Monthly activity is a better guide to the conversations you might find than that historical total.
Introducing yourself and meeting people
Your profile describes your interests and boundaries through a nickname, a role and a list of practices. You can share pictures without publishing your legal name.
Finding a conversation
About 207,000 groups cover specific interests, local communities and beginner questions. Closed groups have an approval process. Members' writing ranges from journals and play reports to practical guides. You get to know people through what they share and where they participate.
There are no member filters for age, gender or distance. Groups and events are the routes to finding potential play partners.
Messages and a reference guide
Members choose who may contact them. Messages from strangers arrive as requests, and sending too many too quickly can temporarily restrict a new account. The Kinktionary, FetLife's guide to fetish terms, covers roles, consent and safety without a login. The interface comes in 17 languages.
Munchs, workshops and parties
A munch is a social introduction in a public venue, with no play taking place. Workshops teach a practice, while BDSM parties provide a setting for it. Each event lists its location, schedule and attendees.
| Type of meetup | What you will find |
|---|---|
| Munch | Meet and greet in a bar or café |
| Educational | Workshop, class, demonstration |
| Social | Party, drinks, speed dating |
| BDSM party | Play party in a private venue |
| Conference | Festival or event over several days |
Parts of the city guides are readable without signing up. You can look for a relaxed conversation before attending a more specialised event.
Joining or supporting FetLife
Profiles, messages, groups, pictures and events are free. Paid support unlocks member videos at a price shown after login, with no automatic renewal. When it ends, supporter features close. You can request a full refund from support within seven days, once per person, except for gift card payments, POLi, cryptocurrency or Paysafecard.
| FetLife | Clips4Sale | Dreams of Spanking | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Type | Social network | Clip marketplace | Spanking studio |
| Entry price | Free | Clips from $4.99 | £30 for 30 days |
| Videos | Supporters only | One by one | Subscription or one by one |
| Renewal | Never | None for single clips | Your choice |
| Refunds | Within 7 days | Sales final | Not published |
App and profile privacy
You install FetLife's app through your browser on a phone or computer to add notifications. There is no official app in the Apple or Google stores.
Keeping your profile private
Profile verification uses a picture with a requested gesture, stored encrypted by the team. Verification increases how many strangers you can message. An ID may also be requested to establish your age.
Location metadata is stripped from pictures, and profiles, groups and writing are excluded from search engines. You can enable two-factor authentication and block other members. These settings help you control what you share.
Reports and image removal
Monthly moderation reports track complaints and removals. In September 2026, 97.2% of reports were handled within thirty minutes.
You can request removal of a picture or video showing you without an account or a copyright claim. That gives you a direct route when someone has shared an image without your consent.
Strengths and weaknesses
Strengths
- An active community for discussions and meetups.
- Groups for learning a practice and joining local events.
- A reference guide readable without registration.
- You can request removal of your images without an account.
Weaknesses
- Member videos require paid support.
- Support prices appear after login.
- Some payment methods are excluded from refunds.
Read next: Dreams of Spanking, Clips4Sale
The best alternatives to FetLife
Dreams of Spanking
Pandora Blake's spanking films, with stories, performers and behind-the-scenes material around the play.
- Paid
- Studio
- Subscription
Clips4Sale
Fetish clips sold by their creators, with individual studio stores and personalised orders.
- Paid
- Shop
- Community
SpankingTube
A spanking video site where couples and studios share sessions or previews, with blogs and picture albums.
- Free
- Tube
- Community
Verdict
Who it suits
- Discussing your interests with other people
- Finding a workshop or introductory meetup
- Reading personal stories and asking questions
Who should skip it
- Searching profiles with dating filters
- Watching mainly studio films
Joining a few relevant discussions and events is how you get the most from FetLife. A free account suits you if you want to meet the community or prepare for a first party. Paid support becomes useful when you want member videos and have checked the price in your account.
With active discussions, local meetups and published moderation figures, FetLife earns five out of five. You can take part with a free account, while watching member videos requires paid support.